I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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