Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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