I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
