So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
