please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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