Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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