i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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