Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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