I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
