You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize