Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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