My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
