That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
