We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
