The maid of honor just puked.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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