Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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