i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
