yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
