I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
