i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
