It's like God shit irony all over that family
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize