I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
