I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
