You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
