I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need a hoe opinion
go on
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
