i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
