..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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