We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
