I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
