ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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