Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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