I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize