6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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