i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
