But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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