Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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