i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize