weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
