Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
