I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
