...so i touched it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
