The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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