can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
