If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We named our party play list daddy issues
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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