did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I want to make a zoo with you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
honey bunches of taint.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
