Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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