so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
