I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
