I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
