I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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