if i can run in heels then i can drive
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
