So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
