ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Come see our sink grown plant.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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