I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize