If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
