Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
