He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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