We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my being single is dangerous.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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