i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
