i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you would pick up someone in the library
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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