I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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