i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
