Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize