im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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