im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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