Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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