Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
