I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
