I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i've created a new STD.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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